My Most Scary Mom Moment

(SORRY--this turned out way longer than I planned. I'm all about details.)

My friend has a saying for moments like this: "It took a page off my [life's]calender."

Nathan and Alex share a bunk bed. Alex sleeps on the top bunk. At about 3:30 in the morning on Tuesday, Sept. 16 Nathan came running in to my room. Turning on every light on his way, hollering, "MOM, MOM". I was in a half a wake state and remember hearing him coming and recognizing the panic in his voice. I hoped that it was only that he had had a nightmare but, feared(denied knowing) it was more than that. I thought he was going to say that he thought someone was trying to break in (but the dogs weren't barking), or that the house was on fire. I heard the panic but thought it would be something I could remedy. But I didn't want to wake up to deal with whatever it was. I hadn't been sleeping well and it seemed I had just fallen asleep. I had all those thoughts in about two seconds as I answered him. My, "What" was a little annoyed. I was not prepared for his announcement. "Alex is having a seizure."

I knew instantly that it was from the fever he had gone to bed with. But it still shocked be awake sending a chill down my back. What a foreign thing for Nate to say. It couldn't be true. I tried to remind myself that I try to live by the faith that I won't be asked to endure more than I can handle. I felt I had already been pushed to my limit with Keith's death just over three weeks old. I felt this was it! I couldn't handle it. I didn't know how. I didn't want to. I just wanted to ignore it and go back to bed and hide, indefinitely. All these thoughts as I ran to their bedroom.

By the time I got to Alex he was pretty much lying still. One leg was still twitching a little. His eyes rolled back. My mind froze I didn't know what to do. All I could do was call his name over and over again. He would open his eyes each time but then they would roll again. If he would have woken up I wouldn't have been so panicked. As it was, I asked Nate to call 911. He seemed to stay calm through it all. While we waited we kept trying to wake Alex, lock the pets in my room, get dressed a little more, open the door wide, turn on every light. I wanted the ambulance to find us quickly. I hesitated to leave the door wide open in the middle of the night but figured sirens were coming any minute. I would be safe. I would have help. Someone else could deal with my dilemma. Brylie woke up from all the commotion.

It seemed like it took the paramedics too long to get there. I was in tears, still trying to wake Alex and calling 911 back to see where they were. Then they were there reassuring me that it was just brought on by his fever. They asked to take him to the hospital. I agreed, woke up Stephanie, and called Bryan at work. Bryan and Nate at the same time suggested a priesthood blessing. Nathan called a member of the bishopric. Alex was still not awake. The paramedics brought the stretcher in and began to get Alex ready for transport. Finally, as we were getting ready to lift him down from his bed, he started to wake up. He kept looking at all the faces. I tried to get him to focus on me so he wouldn't be scared wondering what was happening. He didn't want to go to the hospital. He asked if he really had to. I told him they wanted to take him there and give him medicine. They helped him down and walked him to the stretcher. As they were strapping him in he asked, "So does this mean I don't have to go to school today?" We all had a good laugh at that. I said, "Yes, you can stay home."

By the time I grabbed my wallet and got to the door Brother Sleppy was there. White shirt and tie! At 4:00 in the morning?! It made me smile and appreciate him all the more. He said Bishop was on his way. Alex got his Priesthood blessing in the ambulance and then we were on our way. Nate in the front and me in the back with Alex. Stephanie followed with Brylie. Bryan's mom met us there.

At the hospital, they gave him Tylenol and an I.V. to make sure he was hydrated. I couldn't believe how fast it seemed Bryan got there. Alex true to form was nervous. He was tired but afraid to go back to sleep. Afraid he would have another seizure.

We were home by 5:45. Steph went to school but my three stayed home and I worked. Alex finally slept. Bryan teased me that I overreacted and that I shouldn't have called 911. I just told him he would have done the same thing if he would have seen Alex like that. I admitted that I wouldn't have called if Alex had woken up right away. I knew his seizure was from his fever but it was so unnerving to not have him respond to me. I know that other of you mothers have gone through much, much worse with your babies. I don't know how you did it. I gained a new understanding of what it must have been like for you. I admire you all the more.

(Alex had been sick for a couple of days and Bryan had given him a fever reducer when he left for work at 10:00p.m. Alex missed that whole week of school.

Once again, I was so grateful to have Stephanie there to help. She moved in with us just hours before we heard about Keith's death. She had already helped out more than could be asked of her. If she hadn't been there that morning, Nathan might have had to stay home with Brylie, which would have been hard for him. Or I would have had to drive them, leaving Alex alone in the ambulance.

Nate felt very protective of Alex that morning. It was hard for him to not be allowed in the ER to see him. Now when they get in a disagreement Nate says, "Hey, you have to be nice to me/you owe me I woke Mom up for you." Funny.)

It doesn't seem like that big of trial now. Don't think that means I'm asking for anymore. I still feel on overload.